Talk about cheating!

When you are in your thirties and committed to a relationship, temptation and the pressure to resist it (or else the relationship need not be qualified as "committed") is everywhere. Ways to combat the urges and unwise straying desires and subsequent ruin of a valuable bond are critical in getting out of a hairy one.

That is... if one manages to keep some semblance of control in the face of temptation and not get all sucked into satisfying the impulse.

I was just having an afternoon tea with a former co-worker turned friend. Although we initially met to discuss the possibility of joining forces in a future entrepreneurial project, the conversation revolved for the most part, in out and around the latest installment in the near-affair she is having with some guy at work. I no longer work there, so I haven't witnessed the fiddling game going on.

The lighthearted banter in which Sally got all tangled, had started a few months ago. As it grew heavier and more intense on the seductive arena, it also came to hog more of the brain space responsible for her conversation topics, I believe.

I did my best to lend a listening ear and stress whenever due on understanding the exhilarating sensations of each risky situation. At the same time, knowing that she is a young mom forming a de facto family with Francis, the man with whom she shares her life (and well, some DNA), I had to let her know, I didn't see any worth in pursuing and giving into what seems to be a 99.9% sexual temptation with no real emotional connection with that other guy at work. I was cautious not to castigate and straight up shame Sally as a- I certainly don't have the moral authority nor credibility to do so; b- it's not in my nature and so, ideas like this don't even cross my mind.

I did try to press on the possibility of losing on all fronts and maybe causing an irreversible rift in her Francis' trust, but I have a sense all of this were to no avail. I'm telling you that brain of hers is venting too much pheromone right now! It's fogging all good judgement and preventing all sensible ideas from getting through!      

Frankly, I have been in both situations of weakness and failure to resist unwise desires and neither felt good. Those specific ordeals are detrimental to everyone involved directly or indirectly. I have been tempted and in another instance, I have been the object of someone's else temptation, unbeknownst to me at the time; the consequences turned out to cause him exponentially higher grief than the immediate thrill and excitement he was going for by allowing himself to scheme and deceive all souls involved.

Is my friend headed down this prickly path? What eye-opener suggestions do you have before it's too late? Have you encountered similar situations before? Tell us!