This is the latest installment in Sophie's dating twists and turns. The first part attempts to tell the story of a hard-working, fun and fabulous thirty years old gal as she discovers how difficult it is to determine if a man that she is getting to know is a cheap date or simply too broke for her taste and how it affects their rapport in a tremendous way.
Where we left, Sophie was anxious to see the place the man romancing her owns.
Eventually, Sophie saw the studio tucked away in a sketchy neighborhood. He tried to make the next couple of dating plans, dinner dates at his place. She thought he was getting too comfortable with the idea of not taking her out in more socializing contexts. Besides she wasn't much impressed by his cooking nor the tiny place. Four months into it, she is now hoping that he would actually stop lying about being on a voluntary leave as every date (which by now are spaced in longer spans) are getting to be a painful process where the guy is avoiding restaurants or movies [or ________ insert any paying gig here] at all costs. Sometimes he'll take her out to a restaurant and offer that they should split an "entree"; all the while, still not entirely letting her pay. She has now come around to suggesting more of the free or cheap outings she gleaned from local guides and Barnes&Nobles' book shelves.
The latest we were discussing on the phone today, was how ticked off she had gotten when they did go out to a free concert and Mister "let-me-cook-for-you-at-home-and-make-you-my-desert" freaked out sputtering "Well, I already ate, fyi, I am not hungry... just so you know, I'm full!!" upon Sophie's mention of an after at *gasp*: a restaurant. Namely: Scopello's a vibrant trendy Italian restaurant; Sophie's suggested the after at Scopello; not for their inimitable homemade pasta and bread, but for the hot and dazzling dance-floor experience, the restaurant boasts some Friday nights. Without (get this) COVER CHARGE! No expense that's right.
Unfortunately, Sophie didn't even get the chance to go over above quick details because her cheapskate ran right off, possibly from the prospect of hearing the fearsome words:"A table for two!".
I laughed a wholesome one, as Sophie told me about her night, especially when she dramatically added that he couldn't run fast enough!
Although she makes it sound hilarious, I sensed some frustration in Sophie who, though she wants to be charmed by him, cannot quite determine if her date is dead broke and can't admit it or just plain cheap.
Both of which, I'm sorry to say, are setbacks in my dating books.
To me there's a difference in how she could judge his bizarre stance on money and generosity. My own personal feeling is that he must be broke from not being able to find work he for which he feels qualified. It thus, goes hand in hand with frugal behavior. In that light, should he have maybe waited before starting to date? The other theory of being cheap by nature, or cautious should be easy to defend as a belief in a non-wasteful society which would have him prefer his outings structured accordingly. The way these guys advocate.
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